Why do people like to say bad things about others?

Others are too fond of saying bad things about it! Not bad mouth other people who do not speak. Some people say: "I never say bad things about someone else's man." But in fact it seems there is no such person.

 
In terms of form and content, from malicious rumors with a slight degree of ill, to the front of my face, pointed nose and abuse other people ill, ill of the malicious and intensity is everything.

 
From a psychological point of view, that is obviously a bad mouth other people attack. Despite the aggressive behavior of a talk, people immediately think of physical violence, aggressive behavior, in fact, use of language in the "bad words" is a very significant attack. Than violence, people are more inclined to frequent use of "bad words" the language of assault weapons. Any kind of animal, in order to self-defense, or to the same kind of competition and struggle between both offensive instincts. At this point, the human instinct and desire to possess it. However, in everyday social life of modern society, the use of violence to attack the opponent, is a violation of social norms, is not allowed.

 
Units in the immediate boss is a guy who loves Shua Weifeng, if the hate he beat him, then beat him is the wrong person. Also, when the quarrel between neighbors, often using violence to solve the problem, our daily lives can not be carried out smoothly.

 
With "words" to attack the other side of the first solution is directed at the party's face, calling him "stupid", "fool", or put it bluntly: "You're wrong here!" "I'm angry!" This is a direct say in the form.

 
In general, educated people do not directly face launched verbal attacks.

 
The second way is to complain to a third party, namely, that the parties behind the "trash."

 
For example, after being reprimanded by superiors for a nest of angry men, were supposed to refute the boss directly, but the boss was afraid of retaliation, they will lose the courage to directly refute. How to do it? Act as a substitute for psychological, the men complained to a third party will choose to vent psychological discontent.

 
Parties that are not directly in favor of a third party, said on many occasions in this way is clearly included to vent their sense of psychological discontent.

 
Stabbing, just to eliminate the hearts of the unhappy. Although the situation will not do or say bad things about what changes occur, but at least the mood was ruined because of your boss happy to vent and have improved. But, in the words spilled out of the water, saying bad things about the behavior of representatives, do not know when, might be labeled as "boss of the rival" label.

 
In addition, with this difference is that, for some people, just rests on the back to talk about mental ill vent dissatisfaction is not the answer, be sure to look for opportunities to rebut each other, destroy the other. In this way, it becomes very obvious purpose of aggressive behavior. For example, intentionally spreading malicious gossip, is said to form the object of negative social environment or situation for the purpose, deliberately the officer in the same circle each other like these spread false rumors true, damage the social reputation of other parties, This is the case.

 
Why the ill will feel comfortable?
When you feel strong psychological dissatisfaction and could not take a direct attack to the other party should act how to do?

 
First, deliberately not aware of dissatisfaction with its buried deep in my heart (deep psychological), force yourself to believe what had happened, and what did not feel it. Advocated by psychologists Freud's psychoanalysis, self-defense mechanism to explain the word is self-repression. That is to be closed in the sense of dissatisfaction with the world of the unconscious not. Thus, in the sense of dissatisfaction with the world cease to exist. However, this situation for too long or too intense, you can not avoid the unhealthy psychological causes, and ultimately lead to mental and physical aspects of the disease.

 
Second, parties other than the persons or things to vent. For example, there is no reason reprimanded by the supervisor after the go to the toilet to make a face directed at the mirror, or kick the trash kicked. This is also a way to let off steam, but more common than this is probably the way to invite colleagues or emotional appeals to his men went to the hotel, like how to say bad things about parties on how to say, enjoy so unhappy let it out.

 
According to Miller's desire to dissatisfaction with American psychologists against theory, people will be satisfied if the desire to take into aggressive behavior, aggressive behavior to achieve the divergence through the heart of the discontent. From a psychological point of view, whether it is physical violence (the object is best controlled in the trash or toilet door like the range), or direct verbal attack, behind the stabbing, the heart is not satisfied with their savings down out there, Discontent is piled up, let it out, feel how much it will become comfortable.

 
However, do not speak with the toilet door bins and compared, if the object is human, it would have been possible to fight back. In particular, direct vent will lead to each other face to face fierce counterattack. But if it is to talk to a third party, but it will also get a favorable opinion of third parties, inspire compassion for others. From a psychological point of view, it is more reassuring and easier to be met.

 
Tell to a third party can not say to the parties directly and get the approval of the audience to feel an indescribable feeling comfortable, which is the "catharsis" is an important way. Through this act, the subconscious can be suppressed release of discontent. Confidant party as long as not less, no matter who the other side, you suppress the release of discontent for a long time will not change this behavior. As easily to a third party is much easier to tell, so you can achieve the purpose of let off steam.

 
Why do people will say bad things about you interested in?
In our society, you publicly say bad things about other people, they do not violate the law, people can not punish you, but a man of good breeding, it is immoral.

 
However, some people still want to speak ill of others secretly. This is because the more this behavior is not allowed, the more people want to do, or even breaking the taboo about ill will to listen to the party, "said the contents of the very real" impression. Especially at that time also added: "only here to talk about." "Only one person talk to you, do not tell others to listen." Content is how bad things seem like real, is very the value of intelligence. And the topic is often not present personality shortcomings, troubles in life, work, or relationships with a series of mistakes that others around the negative aspects of the topic. Seems to give such a feeling: talk about the other bad things are taboo, but I really unbearable, had to say it, so all is true.

 
But why the "only here to talk about the" bad things, can not stop here? This is because no one on the ill of interest, and no one want to pass ill. Old saying: "Bad news travels," vividly illustrates the very ill of the speed of propagation. Ill want to pass faster and wider, make sure to add "only here to talk about" or "ah absolutely confidential," that kind of thing, so ill but will pass more quickly broader. Why? One of the reasons is: bad things about the "credibility."

 
Ill ingenious argument
Say bad things about others that such behavior is not to be able to get rid of the change. Ill people from that point of view, that bad things are that bad about the benefits that can purify and eliminate feelings of dissatisfaction with the role. However, people who are saying bad things are bad, people say bad things were not always a pleasant thing. To do this, how can the wise thing to say bad things about it is especially important.

 
"Indeed, in that work, he played his own strengths," "from the character that has a good side", "In the past, more or less also get him a little help," not forget to add this type of good things.

 
In addition, "although it is in speaking ill of him, I also committed the same error," "The fault, not only is he guilty, and who are likely to commit" and so on, add a shield, then said he not making personal attacks.

 
However, under the influence of alcohol, once the atmosphere of rising up, the final contents of ill will or negative degree of escalation, there is no intention to say bad things will blurt out. This must be careful.
Also, ill vent, Do not forget the use of "end of the good, all right," the psychological skills. In other words, do not forget on hearing bad things about the last person said: "Today has been listening to me complain, I spit fast. Thanks to you (are) the blessing, can happily go to work tomorrow, thank you thank you. Under times and then drink together! "shook hands, smiling.

 
Listen to the people until now have been listening to your nagging ill, although the Council considers that "Well you guys, dare to say that he (she) trash talk", and finally because your handshake and smile, he will think, "even if to help him Consumers air grievances, "is people will forget you said bad things about the poison tongue, will want to" feel better tone he spit, "and will feel that they help you, hate you no longer think ill of the object. People who have such a psychological mechanism, the end of last saw and heard impressed.

 
Of course, that bad feeling ill but on their own as a vent, called a person's life does not say a word against someone else, it is probably impossible. From the psychology that a person can rationally deal with people saying bad things, bad things about the insight from that point what it is that very interesting.